Personal Stories
Douglas Sarah A Carers Story James Add your own story
Douglas
I have suffered from depression, off and on, for more than 10 years now but last Autumn I had a particularly bad period which led me to give up my job and really all hope in the future.
A friend of mine who knew about Depression Alliance Scotland gave me the contact details for the organisation and suggested I register to attend one of the DAS self help groups. I did this and from January I have been going to one of the evening self help groups, something which I am pleased to say has helped me feel better about things and aided my recovery.
One of the biggest benefits of the group was meeting other people who knew how I felt, knew how depression felt and what it was like. Depression can be the loneliest thing in the world and knowing that I wasn’t alone, that there were others who suffered in the same way, helped me realise I wasn’t on my own, that it wasn’t just me. The group’s discussions (all confidential and you don’t have to speak at any meeting if you don’t want to, you can just listen) have also been informative on a range of subjects including medications and talking therapies.
Naturally I was nervous about going to the first meeting but the trained group leaders were fantastic, kind and welcoming, as were all the group members. I can only say to people who are out there suffering, give it a go; the group has played a real part in helping me feel better and getting back on track and I know that it can help others.
Sarah
Along with many other people affected by depression, I wish there was a miracle cure to banish it or a magic wand that could be waved to make it stay away. This may come across as rather idealistic, but it is, in fact, more realistic than it might seem. There is no immediate fix to mend a broken limb, but there are plaster casts and physiotherapy which can lead the body to heal itself. In a way, depression is similar in that it needs to be healed from within the sufferer.
I was fortunate in that I did not hesitate to approach my doctor when I became concerned about my mental health. The first step to recovery is reaching out for help. The relief I found upon being taken seriously was quite profound. I was prescribed anti depressants and my GP also suggested counselling, which both surprised and pleased me. While the anti depressants lifted my mood, it was only through talking on a regular basis with a trained therapist that I managed to get closer to the root of my depression. I cannot recommend this highly enough. I also found that exercise and the support of a close family member played a huge part in my recovery. At my very lowest point, I could not conceive that getting better was a possibility, but if there is a remedy for me, there will be one for many others.
A Carer’s Story
The term “carer” somehow conjures up a mental picture of supporting someone with physical health problems to function as independently as they can. This role is hard enough in itself, but when a close family member has Depression it really takes its toll on you and on your own life and well-being. It is not as if you can offer a quick fix to the illness and I think that is where I used to go wrong. I have now learned to walk alongside my sister, instead of trying to tell her what to do or to push her in the direction I think she should go in. For years I did try to push and experienced feelings of frustration, annoyance and at times total despair for her chosen path or inability to see things from my point of view. I think it said more about me actually, and that this was my way of trying to control the seemingly sometimes uncontrollable.
At times of her despair, I felt it too and at her lowest ebb, I was with her too. I suppose when you love someone who is experiencing Depression, you do find yourself thinking the unthinkable “What if”. I have had many a sleepless night and horrid dream about what the future holds. But for my sister, my door remains open when it needs to be opened by her, and that is the most important thing.
I have learned to understand and accept that her choices may not be my own and to respect the decisions she chooses to make. I suppose it is about knowing where to draw the line for my own personal well-being and to be aware of what I can and cannot take responsibility for. We have been through some hellish times with Depression in the last few years, but I sleep easier at night now knowing that I have told her how I feel and that my door is open when she needs me.
I remember a verse from my childhood that seems relevant to sum up what this process has been like for me, caring for someone with Depression, and hope that it may offer some comfort to those in the same position as me.
“If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears the sound of a different drummer. Let him step to the music he hears, however measured or far away”
James
I had a bout of severe clinical depression about 10 years ago. Once the pain subsided it left me with a difficult and painful mood disorder that over time got worse despite tablets and talking therapies.
After 4 years of emotional struggle, I was about to go off long term sick because I felt ill all the time.
Then I had a breakthrough; my mum told me about a female lawyer who had recovered from a breakdown using a book called Potatoes Not Prozac by Dr K DesMaisons, I bought the book not expecting much but it made biological sense and the author's story sounded very familiar, I put the seven step programme into my lifestyle and much to my joy and amazement I recovered, and started to feel normal again, it was like moving from Winter to Summer, the mood swings and low self esteem went and I was able to continue in my job. I worked on my self with a mentally healthy life style and I lost weight and my health improved further. The book essentially converts the reader from a western diet back to a healthy mediterranean diet. I had to stick to the diet to stay well. I noted alcohol, sugar, refined carbohydrates and caffeine gave me crazy thoughts but was able to work and support my family.
My next discovery came later when I read the evidence for EPA Omega 3 and mental health. There are two international double blind clinical trials demonstrating the mood stabilising and anti depressant action of this natural structural fat. Some psychiatrists are using EPA clinically for mood disorders. Prof Basant Puri has produced a book "A Natural Way to Beat Depression", explaining the science behind the antidepressant properties of EPA. After a month, I noted a further improvement in my moods and really felt I was getting back to normal and able to have a couple of beers on a Saturday night without a moody hangover.
I am now well and earning a good living. I work freelance which means I am my own boss and have a job I control. If I have another bout of depression I have a back door and am not letting anybody down. Depression in my experience is a nightmare but I have been lucky, I still have my house, career, excellant loving wife and three children. My journey to full health and function has been hard work but worth every effort. I do realise I have a relapsing condition and have to be careful to take care of myself and not over work.
It could all have been so different.
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